Healing the Nervous System in Perimenopause: A Path Back To Calm

"The Echo in the Body"

There I was, sobbing in my car over a yogurt. Not just teary-eyed—heaving, guttural sobs. Over yogurt.

And of course, it wasn’t really about the yogurt.

It never is.

I remember gripping the steering wheel, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks, wondering why I couldn’t just “pull it together.” The voice in my head wasn’t kind—it said I was too much, too sensitive, too reactive. But there was another whisper beneath it—quieter, truer:

"This isn’t a breakdown. This is an echo."

What if your "overreactions" are actually brilliant adaptations? What if they’re not flaws at all—but finely tuned signals from a body that learned long ago how to protect you?

This is what I’ve come to understand: You’re not broken. You’re reverberating. And there is a path to softening the echoes.

Try this now:

Place your hand gently over your heart and take three slow breaths. Whisper to yourself: "I'm listening." Notice what shifts, even subtly.

 

The Nervous System’s Origin Story

Let’s go back.

Long before the hot flashes, the foggy mornings, or the inexplicable weepiness that comes with midlife, our nervous systems were learning. They were listening. They were imprinting on every tone of voice, every slammed door, every moment where safety felt just out of reach.

This is nervous system imprinting. And it’s powerful.

We each carry an invisible scan running through our body called neuroception—our subconscious ability to detect safety or threat. It's not rational. It’s biological. It’s ancestral. It’s the reason you feel your heart race in a crowded grocery store even when no one has done a thing.

And perimenopause? It doesn’t cause these patterns—but it does unearth them. Intensifies them. Amplifies them until they can no longer be ignored.

Your body isn’t failing you.

She’s finally asking to be heard.

Gentle Action: Light a candle and journal on this question: "Where in my body do I still feel like I’m bracing for something?" Let whatever comes up be enough.

 

Perimenopause: The Great Revealer

For most of our lives, we had biochemical buffers—estrogen, progesterone—that acted like emotional shock absorbers. They let us override, suppress, or sidestep what we didn’t want to feel.

Then one day… they start to fade.

According to neuropsychiatrist Dr. Louann Brizendine, the hormonal shift of midlife thins the veil between our emotional world and the surface. We feel everything more deeply. Not because we’re falling apart—but because the numbness is wearing off.

Suddenly, that little comment from your partner lands like a betrayal. The pile of laundry feels like an existential crisis.

And it’s not because you’re weak.

It’s because your nervous system is doing what it’s always done—scanning, sensing, surviving. Only now, without the hormonal buffer, the signal is louder.

It’s not too much.

It’s asking to be met.

Mini-Ritual: Try "naming and taming." When a big emotion rises, gently name it: "This is grief." "This is rage." "This is tenderness." Naming it helps your nervous system digest it, instead of suppress it.

 

Somatic Safety: What Healing Actually Looks Like

Healing the nervous system isn’t about becoming perfectly calm all the time. It’s about becoming responsive, not reactive.

It’s knowing what grounded feels like in your body—not just knowing the word.

For me, it began in small ways. Noticing the warmth of the sun on my face. Touching my chest when I felt myself spiraling. Breathing deep into my belly and humming—yes, humming—to stimulate the vagus nerve.

These aren’t fixes. They’re reminders.

This is somatic healing. The work of breath, rhythm, nature, sound, and touch. Practices that help the body learn that it’s safe to soften. Safe to stay.

And it’s slow. Nonlinear. Tender.

Try this now:

Put on a piece of music that feels soothing. Let your body move in micro-motions—even just swaying your hips or circling your wrists. Invite safety through rhythm.

Support Tool: Consider Stability as part of your daily support. With saffron, rhodiola, ashwagandha, and reishi, it’s formulated to cradle your nervous system as you recalibrate.

 

The Inner Child Meets the Inner Crone

This part gets me every time.

Because what if midlife is not a crisis at all—but a sacred reunion?

Inside me lives a girl who once learned the world wasn’t safe. Who flinched, who froze, who worked so hard to be good and not be a burden.

And now—at this wild, holy juncture of life—I also meet the Crone within me. The wise woman. The one who doesn’t perform, who doesn’t prove. She knows. She claims.

Perimenopause is where these two meet.

The one who was wounded.

And the one who is ready to heal her.

When I picture them holding hands—my small self and my sovereign self—I don’t feel like I’m unraveling.

I feel like I’m becoming whole.

Reflective Prompt: Sit quietly and ask, "What does my inner girl need to feel safe? What does my inner Crone already know?" Let them talk to each other in your journal.

Somatic Practice: Place one hand over your belly (your Crone) and one over your heart (your child). Breathe. Let them feel each other.

 

You Are Not Too Much—You Are Finally Coming Home

So here’s what I want you to know, love:

Those big reactions?

That fierce rage, that weeping that makes no sense, the anxiety that pulses through you like lightning?

They are not signs of failure.

They are signs of awakening.

Your nervous system is not betraying you—it’s trying to return you. To the parts of yourself you once abandoned to survive. To the tenderness you were told was too much. To the fire you were told to dim.

This is not your unraveling.

It’s your reweaving.

Closing Ritual: Each morning, before the noise of the world creeps in, take one minute. Just one. Touch your heart. Say aloud: "I am coming home to me." Say it until your body believes it.

Affirmation: You are not broken. You are brave. You are becoming.