Authenticity Isn’t a Style—It’s an Energy

They say authenticity is the highest frequency. That line gets tossed around like a motivational poster, but most people stop at the surface. They confuse being authentic with being unfiltered. They think saying whatever you want, whenever you feel it, is some badge of truth. But real authenticity doesn’t start with other people. It starts inside.

The question isn’t: are you being honest with others?

It’s: are you being honest with yourself?

Are you willing to admit when you're out of alignment with your own values? Are you noticing when you're performing for approval, or pretending you don't care? Are you aware of the tiny, subtle ways you betray your own knowing to keep the peace, dodge discomfort, or maintain an identity that no longer fits?

That’s the harder truth.

Because when you start actually living in alignment—when your thoughts, actions, and energy are congruent—everything around you recalibrates. The drama doesn’t stick. The chaos doesn’t land. What could have become a nightmare... dissipates.

Not because you're bypassing it. But because there's nothing for it to grip onto.

Authenticity is a cleansing frequency. When you're truly in it, it scrapes off what's not yours. It repels the invitations to contort, betray, or abandon yourself. And yes, it might cost you some comfort. Some relationships. Some false peace. But what you get in return is the absence of inner war.

You stop negotiating with yourself.

You stop needing other people to affirm what you already know.

You start making decisions that don’t require explanation—because they ring true in your bones.

Here’s the part no one tells you: getting to that place isn’t a light switch. It’s a clearing process. You have to see through your own self-deception, and not with shame. With curiosity. You have to notice your patterns of avoidance, people-pleasing, or performative confidence, and ask:

"What am I afraid would happen if I told the truth here?"

Sometimes the truth is quiet. Sometimes it's disruptive. Sometimes it costs you the version of yourself you've worked hard to maintain. But every time you choose it, you build trust in the one relationship you can’t outsource: the one with yourself.

Like the time I said yes to a relationship I wasn't fully into, just to avoid disappointing someone I cared about. My gut knew within months this wasn't right. But I kept showing up with a smile, believing things would change at each milestone, we'd be more stable, secure, and happy. It took me years and hundreds of torturous conversations before I finally took action on the thing I knew on day one. The moment I did, my life changed significantly. The negative energy that seemed to surround me dissipated, energy that caused so many things to go wrong in my life, mysteriously. I couldn't connect the dots on what was happening until i realized I had been living inauthentically and inauthenticity attracts turmoil. 

Or the time I stayed too long in a business partnership I knew had run its course. We had built something impactful together—a diet company that truly helped people. And for a while, it worked. But as the business grew, so did the entanglements. Spousal energy started influencing decisions, creating a quadrangle I didn’t consent to. My gut told me we were no longer aligned, but I kept overriding it. I told myself I was being loyal. That we just needed to communicate more. But the truth was, I was scared to rupture something I’d helped build. When I finally stepped away, the noise dropped. I stopped feeling energetically hijacked. And I could see clearly how long I’d been justifying the misalignment in the name of being a “good partner.”

So now it’s your turn.

Where in your life are you still negotiating with yourself? Where are you choosing ease over alignment? Where are you letting old roles dictate your truth?

Pick one. Just one. Name it. Write it down. Sit with it long enough to see what would shift if you stopped bypassing your own knowing.

And then, when you're ready: tell the truth.

Because when that trust is intact? The field around you shifts. People respect you more, even if they don't agree with you. Life gets clearer. Decisions get faster. You stop swirling in doubt. Because your yes means something. Your no means something. And your energy becomes unmistakably yours.

That’s the real frequency shift. Not just being seen. But being solid.